February 22, 2015
“When it all falls, when it all falls down,
I'll be your fire when the lights go out”
-Madonna / "Ghosttown"
The winter sky is aflame with color. Over the past couple of weeks, southern California sunsets have been breathtaking. As is true in so much of life, it’s something to bear witness to in a fleeting moment before it disappears. This is my favorite time of year—cool weather, red hues in the sunset, and a sense of purpose as the year starts to unfold. It’s the season of possibility.
I’ve heard from lots of you—old friends and new—over the past week about the premiere of A Gift of Miracles. Thanks to everyone who tuned in and took time out of your hectic schedules to send an uplifting note or a kind thought my way. I am so moved that many of you found importance in its characters and theme. You have made it all worthwhile.
Like most artists, I often struggle with the reaction to a project I’ve worked on once it’s released. The hope is always that people relate to what you’ve labored over, and, of course, the fear is always that they don’t! It gets easier the more you do it, but it never gets easy.
In the era of social media, reviews have gained in popularity across the board, but taking responsibility for statements in online posts grows in importance. It really does feel like people feel the freedom to unleash rage under the disguise of an electronic pseudonym, making statements that would not come out in face-to-face interactions or if the reviewer’s identity were known.
I’ve had memories of the past flooding my thoughts these past few weeks. I miss old friends and the time of being young and carefree. Although I would never go back, I have been longing for what is no longer. (Movies about time travel have never interested me, but I’m beginning to develop a new appreciation for their premise!) I’m grateful for today and all the mistakes that have led me here. It’s easy to fall into despair in looking back on tragedy and pain when you’re giving it your best.
I’m finding though that life is not easy sometimes because it’s not supposed to be. And when it feels like darkness is swallowing me whole, it’s time to stop looking for a light somewhere out there to lead the way and instead create one of my own.